Facebook Should Hire Me Just For My Dreams

O.K, so, I had a dream last night that Facebook got a new game – it would set you up to PM with someone on your friends list without telling you who it is on your friends list you are talking to.

The point of it was ‘see how well you know all your friends’, so, see if you can guess who it is just by asking questions.

I thought ‘hey, that’s pretty cool!’, and decided to play it.

I started talking to the person I got set up with, and started asking them random questions ‘What’s your favorite colour?’, ‘What’s your favorite movie?’, ‘what colour hair do you have?’, and the other person did the same (‘Do I know you from the comic book store?’ ‘Are you that friend of Mark’s he made me friend?’), but no matter how many questions I asked, I couldn’t figure out who it was.

Finally, the person was all ‘Look, I have NO IDEA who on my friends list you can be.’ I agreed, so we pressed the ‘quit’ button and a message popped up to tell us who we were talking to.

Turns out, it wasn’t anyone on my friends list at all! It was just some random person they set me up with!

Later that day (in the dream), my dad was on MSN, and I saw something and asked to read the article. It was about ‘Facebook’s New Attempt at Getting You to Have More Friends’, and how they set you up to chat with people to see if you will friend each other afterwords.

Of course, once word got out that it was just random people, guys started going on saying stuff like ‘R U horny?’ and ‘want to live-webcam with me’, and emo people went on being all ‘I’m so alone, it’s so dark here, help me’, so basically, the Facebook master plan was a bust.

They really just created another Omegle.

So, anyway, that’s how the dream ended. I probably had it because I get creeped out by how Facebook sends me E-Mails practically every day to ask me if I ‘know this person, do I know that person’.

Yeesh.

But really, don’t you think that game would be cool (provided it actually DID match you up with your friends, and not someone random)?

Like, kids always say ‘Oh, I know everyone on my friends list – and I have 132!’, but, REALLY.

I’ve got eleven, and they’re all family, and every here and there I look at the list and think ‘How do I know these people? I wish I didn’t have so many relatives – I look pathetic, having all these facetious friends.’. So this game would be a test to all those kids who swear they know their Facebook friends.

Once again, I’ve had another really smart idea. You’re welcome.

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I never knew she drank…

(I wrote this three days before Christmas, but I forgot to post it. Sorry! ..Not as if you care.)

According to the fruit cake recipe, you are supposed to soak the cake in rum for a few weeks.
My mother, on the other hand, put off soaking it till the day before we had to take it to my grandmother, so then she had to think up some way to get rum into the cake. She figured that she could try to inject the rum into the cake with a hypodermic needle (which, yes, we had around the house).
As it turns out, injecting a fruitcake with a hypodermic needle full of rum is a lot harder than one might think… since in the middle of the second injection, the needle exploded, and sprayed rum all over us.
Me: “AAH!!”
My Cat (runs into the room).
Mother (laughing): “Oh, no! Now I smell like rum!”
Me: “YOU smell like rum? I’M THE ONE WHO SMELLS LIKE RUM!! Do you know how much worse it is for a LITTLE GIRL to smell like rum?”

Anyway, she continued injecting the cake with the rum, and I still smell like a drunken sailor.
Great.
Happy Holidays, everyone.

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My Cat

I realized today that it actually isn’t that hard to get along with my cat.
I always say he is impossible, and that I hate him with every fiber of my being, but actually, today I realized that I really CAN get along with him, as long as I keep a few things in mind:
If I touch his tail, he bites.
If I touch his paws, he bites.
If I pet his head, he bites.
If I’m on my laptop and I ignore him, he runs over and bites.
If I breath when within seven feet of him, he bites.
If I’m wearing a uniform, he bites.
If I’m working on my laptop and he sees me, he bites.
If acknowledge his existence, he bites.
If I don’t acknowledge his existence, he bites.
If I close a window, he bites.
If I smile at him, he bites.
If he sees me drinking tea, he bites.
If I’m holding a plastic bag, he bites.
If I’m feeding the snake, he bites.
If I’m not wearing shoes, he bites.
If I’m wearing shoes, he bites.
If I’m laughing, he bites.
If I’m drawing, he bites the drawing implement, then my hand.
If I’m reading a book, he bites.
If I’m watching The Big Bang Theory, he bites.
If I’m watching Anime on my laptop, he bites.
If I shake my head/nod/shrug, or do anything that makes my hair move, he bites.
If I’m playing with one of the rabbits, he bites (me, not the rabbit, thank goodness).
If I’m reading xkcd, he bites.
If I’m cooking, he bites.
If I’m asleep, he bites.
If I’m in the shower, he bites.
If I’m giving him a bath, he bites (fair enough..).
If I’m watching AMVs, he bites.
If I’m making AMVs, he bites.
If I’m listening to music, he bites.
If I’m having afternoon tea, he bites.
If I’m reading blogs, he bites.
If I’m playing Harum Scarum, he bites.
If I’m checking my E-Mail, he bites.
If I’m on Facebook, he bites.
Actually, if I’m on the internet at all, he bites.
If I’m making coffee, he bites.
And if I’m drinking coffee, he bites.
If I’m fighting with my Spanish video effect maker, he bites.
If I’m eating, he bites.
If I’m not eating, he bites.
If I’m making pasta, he bites.
If I’m singing, he bites.
If I’m not singing, he bites.
If I’m making Green tea, he bites.
If I’m on the treadmill, he bites.
If I’m holding a pencil, he bites.
If I’m frowning, he bites.
If I say the words ‘Lucky Star’, he bites.
If I’m connecting to Earthlink, he bites.
If I’m reading Otaku USA, he bites.
If I’m in cosplay, he bites.
If I’m in my room, he bites.
If I walk into a room that he is in, he bites.
If I’m wearing red, he bites.
If I’m wearing black, he bites.
If I’m reading a magazine, he bites.
If I’m holding a fork, he bites.
If I’m yawning, he bites.
If I’m washing dishes, he bites.
If I’m holding a Popsicle, he bites.
If it’s raining, he bites.
If I open a Brisk, he bites.
If I’m looking in his general direction, he bites.
So, as long as I abide to these simple rules, I can get along with the cat.
But then again, there is also the ‘Things I Have to Do so that He Won’t Scratch Me’ list….

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Harum Scarum Review

Here is my review of the Cartoon Network flash game ‘Harum Scarum’.

It’s a pretty simple game – the two main characters (Billy and Mandy from the Cartoon Network TV show ‘The Adventures of Billy and Mandy’) have to, for some unknown reason, go to ‘downtown’, to the graveyard and to the pumpkin patch, and at each place (each level), they must fight down the pumpkin monsters that try to stop them.

All in all, there are three levels, and each level is split into three parts, each part taking me (I don’t know about most people) around 26 seconds to finish. If you run out of health points (this can happen if you either get hit by a pumpkin too many times, or if you fall off a cliff – oh, did I mention it’s kinda like a platform game?), then you die. And throughout the entire game (all three levels, all 12 parts), you are allowed three deaths (when you die, then come back to life and start back on the same part where you left off).                                                                                                                                                           At the end of each level, there is a huge pumpkin monster (bigger and more powerful than the others) that you have to beat to get to the next level.

You can have two weapons at a time (one for Billy and one for Mandy, and you switch between controlling the two with the ‘X’ key), and there are several ‘weapons’ available – banana peels (very useful – throw them, and the pumpkins step on them and slip, causing them to die. Only one problem: when you kill them this way, you get no score points.), toilet paper (the most useless one. You have to throw enough toilet paper to wipe the buts of a small army before even a level one pumpkin dies, but hey, some people just like to throw toilet paper), eggs (one of the better ones, but they are hard to use for the jumping pumpkins), glue (freezes pumpkins till you get passed. Like banana peels, you don’t get any points for this, but you may not care about that.), scythe (my personal favorite – the easiest to use against monsters of all levels, and pretty handy for two of the big monsters too), and dynamite (pretty good, but it’s hard to hit things that are right in front of you).

Personally, I really enjoy this game. I won the entire game several times, yet I still go back to play it again.

The Tricks:

The very last big monster, the one you have to beat to win the game, can be beaten best with dynamite. It can not be beaten with either glue or  scythe.

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Hospital Bathrooms

I hate hospital bathrooms.

They are the worst. There are all these ‘pull this if you need help’ strings all over, and I’m worried that I’ll be a klutzy idiot like always and accidentally pull one, then have tons of people break the door down and try to wheel me away in an ambulance (why I would need to go in an ambulance when I am already in a hospital is beyond me, but this is how the scene usually goes in my head).
Then, I concentrate SO HARD on not pulling the strings, that I’m worried I’ll do it accidentally just because I am thinking about it so hard.
The bathroom here at the hospital where my grandma is, is the worst – it has TWO soap dispensers. The first time I went in there, I spent five whole minutes trying to figure out which was a soap dispenser, and which was a ‘push for help’ button in disguise.
After discovered one of them had actual soap in it, I’ve been using that one, but I worry that one of these times my guard will slip and I’ll press the other one. I am also being very sure not to wave my hand in front of the paper towel dispenser twice – I’m sure that when two paper towels come out right after each other, it contacts the desk to say the person in the bathroom needs help.
Don’t ask me how I know – I just do.

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Car Conversation

(While my mother and I are in a car, driving down a particularly high hill)

My mother (randomly): “Don’t go down this hill on a bike.”

Pause.

Me: “……O.K.”

Pause.

My mother: “I can show you the scar.”

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Pet Peeve #456

Oh, you like Anime? Cool! Have you seen Gundam? No? Well, how about Code Geass? Nope? The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya? You haven’t seen that one?!?! Cardcaptor Sakura? Di Gi Charat? Bleach? Naruto? Bakuman? Lucky Star? Princess Tutu? No? …..Well, what Anime HAVE you seen? ………..The one with the guy. ………..O.K.

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